Welcome to the PNW.

You know how you always hope to continue with something, and then you don’t … and then six month have gone by and you haven’t spoken a word. That’s about where I am right now.

I had really great intentions with this space. Mostly, I just missed blogging. I was really into it about 15 years ago, when it was popular and everyone was doing it. Most of my dearest friends to this day are women that I met through the blogging community. I missed writing. Writing has always been very therapeutic for me, but I don’t have the patience to sit down and journal on a regular basis.

But as I’ve gone down the COVID spiral, I’ve realized more and more that I need to do better about taking care of myself, and doing what makes me happy. Writing makes me happy. So just maybe, I can make this more of a priority?

Let’s take a step back.

My last post was in April. WOOF. Boy oh boy has a lot happened since then. We were right at the beginning of COVID and lock down, and not really sure what was happening. And then it all just sort of went sideways from there. I was incredibly overwhelmed from working from home full time while also getting two small children through the last months of school, also from home. We went 96 days without a break from each other, and it broke me. The stress of everything, the panic of not knowing, the anxiety in cleaning groceries and the worry that washed over anytime we HAD to leave the house (which, wasn’t for about two months, honestly, before we ran any sort of public errand) brought me to my knees. I had a mental break down. I was waking up every night with panic attacks around midnight. I was coping in all the wrong ways because I didn’t know what to do, and I was a mess. Trying to hold it together for my kids, keep my job, and continue on in a time when it just wasn’t really possible to do it all.

AND THEN I decided it was too much, that I couldn’t do this alone anymore, so we sold the house and the boys and I moved back to Washington State, where I was born and raised, and where my entire family resides to this day.

Bye bye, Colorado. Hello Washington.

We have been here a couple months now, and it’s not been without it’s own challenges. I am still working from home full time, and we opted to homeschool instead of tackling virtual learning through the district (for a lot of reasons, that I can go into later). My mom lives a mile down the road. The rest of my family and my best friend of 25 years all are within 10-20 minutes away. It was the right choice, and while it’s different (waaaay more expensive here than in Colorado. I miss my large house and large yard), having even a couple more resources has been hugely beneficial to my mental health and the happiness of my family.

So here we are. Living a completely new life, in a new (to my boys) state. My 800 sf apartment is VASTLY different than my beautiful 3200 SF home (first world problems, I know. I’m happy to have a roof over my head) and the mountains are further away than we prefer. We traded the daily access to the mountains for daily access to the pacific northwest beaches, and honestly … it’s been an OK trade. We hike when we can, are outdoors as often as possible, and really can’t complain about the rocky beaches that are five minutes from where we live.

It’s been an adjustment, and will continue to be just that. The lonliness of COVID is very really, and I still struggle with my mental health daily. But we are doing the best that we can, and hoping for brighter days ahead.

I want to keep this space, and I want to utilize it more. Even getting these thoughts down helps, and I want to make more of an effort to verbalize my thoughts and our changes on a regular basis. We will see if I can actually stick with that. I sure am going to try!

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